An important place to start this blog is with a clarification. Suffering exists within a very broad range; from suffering through a boring lecture to managing long term hunger, suffering. This writing is about something more universal to the human spirit, a suffering we all experience despite the gravity; Our longing to be free, to be our true selves, simply said, to be happy.
To fully grasp this concept you first need to understand that I see the world a little differently. Instead of the common cultural viewpoint of us being separate insignificant tiny beings amongst the great expanse of the universe, with some lucky-drawn, goldilocks planet, capable of incubating and supporting life, I see the inverse of this. One infinite energy, the All, consciousness, God, whatever name you want to give to that which cannot be understood, but known; is playing a game of separation. It has divided, or rather, distinguished itself into parts, to have an individual experience.
Now imagine that you, as an infinite being, are pure creative energy, forming yourself into parts to have an experience of another- an individual experience. How would you accomplish such a thing? How does one forget, or fall asleep to the fact that they are the creator of it all?
From this perspective our continual addiction to our self-made suffering begins to make much more sense. It is the mechanism that keeps our innate, natural genius limited. Contained to a predictable pattern that only allows for what we expect. This is not an enjoyable experience because having the experience of separation is not the whole point. The point is to remember who you truly are within the illusion, a bit like lucid dreaming. The ‘reward’ for this is love, fulfillment, and joy.
This limiter is our perception, or how we’ve deemed ‘it is’ here. When we are first born we don’t yet know that we are separate. We learn we are, or rather, we create that we are. As brand new beings in the world we are still connected to, are aware of, and want to be acknowledged for who and what we truly are- pure creative spirit; but for the first time we have a feedback loop giving us information about survival, our bodies. The conditions we are exposed to most consistently through early development create the roadmap we construct about how it is here in life, through sensational and emotional feedback. This unconscious definition of how it is and how you must be runs your life from the shadows.
Everytime your heart sings out for something, your roadmap from the past comes in to help you stay within your confines so that you don’t get ‘hurt’.
This is the function of suffering.
Our heart, love, desire pushes up in us. We feel inspiration, hope, excitement. In the process of going for this thing we’d love, our perception takes it and reforms it to fit into what it deems possible for us, based on our past. This new version of what you love is not the truth of what you’d love and so your heart continues to long for what it loves, and the result is you suffering.
The pattern you created to keep yourself safe as a baby/youngling is the very thing that keeps your soul from fulfillment. The suffering you experience is keeping your illusion safe, but the experience of suffering is a communication to you (from your soul) that who you long to be in the world and in this life has yet to be fulfilled. So it’s your choice, suffer safely and continue to repeat the patterns of your life, or live boldly bringing the wholeness of your heart into manifestation.