Meet Les

How Do I know the Radical Love Movement is Real? : My Own Experience

 

I was stuck in a pattern of “Knowing” – that I needed to know all the outlines and rules and “how to be” in every space, and there were not any options outside of that. This confined me, of course way outside of my awareness, to a life I was simply struggling through. On the outside it looked like I had everything together, everything in place, always getting approval and praise – but when I really became aware of my patterns, it was obvious that all of my actions, although praised, were at self-sacrifice. This took form in time and energy and it simply drained me. In order to protect myself I had become so ingrained in my compartmentalization strategy, that I did not even recognize my own stress, fatigue, or pain. I could not even feel my body. Of course, without awareness, how would I ever have come out of that? I don’t think I would have.

 

I remember about 7 years ago, I was asking myself a question constantly – “What’s next?” I was approaching 30, I was not planning on having children, and I simply could not come to terms with the next 30 years being the same as it was at the time. I did not see it then, but what I really needed was to grow; I needed something different, a new challenge. I think that is why I always stuck with dance. It fulfilled that need temporarily; the ever changing challenge in my life that provided growth and excitement. That is how I found RLM, well at that time, it was Phannie, but we have grown it into RLM since. We started as a professional performance company, but really what got me hooked was a practice she called Authentic Movement. For the first time in my life (as a born thinker) I was able to turn off my brain and hear my body. I know, it sounds crazy, but it is real. I remember the first message that my body was trying to tell me – Find Balance. It was the place I was suffocating. Where I hid all my stress and emotions I did not have time to deal with because I just had to keep going. At the same time, my body was being pushed so hard to achieve perfection in dance technique, auditions, and performances. So yes, it would make sense to hear ‘You need to Find Balance’. As time continued, the information became easier to receive and more specific. The authentic movement space was scary because I could not hide from what I was truly feeling, but also a safe space that felt like a break from my mind running the show. So many rules and regulations I placed on myself – constantly. This space was the only time I listened. 

Over the years this practice developed further and we found somatic groundwork. More of a conscious exercise but in alignment with the goals of authentic movement; Listen to your body. Through guiding and patterning I discovered the root causes of my daily physical pain. I learned to unwind these so that I could do basic things like stand up normally, bend over and pick things up without pain, and be able to play with my nieces and nephew without fear of breaking. 

I became aware of physical pain not being limited to “problems” in my body or “injuries” – although these do occur- they are not often the root cause of physical pain or limitations. Through the practices of authentic movement and somatic groundwork I have learned that my body is one whole, continuously moving and changing unit. So when I have an area of pain or stiffness pulling my focus, I can usually find the answer to the cause if I track outside of that area. This learning allowed me to dance more freely, without fear of an injury ending my career. 

Then came the coaching. After years of applying new philosophies (new to me) to my physical body, we started to apply this to our personalities. Over the last few years, we have not only discovered our strategies, we have dove into them. We have spoken them out loud, we have shared them with others, and we have even created art out of them. We had to tear them apart, open ourselves to the work, to understand that we have a choice outside of our dysfunction. We discovered our natural gifts to offer to the world and encouraged intuition to be the driving force in our decision making, keeping in mind the end results for our transformed lives. We know this work to be true, because we are the proof. We are the living examples of how you can change your life for what you love. 

Having been through both the physical and mental transformation, we then saw it was SO obvious. We integrate all of this into a program and share it with the world! We will help others understand themselves, their strategies, and how they are getting in their own way, all with teachings Through The Body.

Everything is a practice. Do not give up after the first falter or misstep. When you learn a new pattern or pathway, it is like a new rubber band- when you stretch it into a different shape, it will snap right back into its original construct. Only after time and time again of stretching a rubber band will it loosen its elasticity to be flexible and adaptable. So when I fall back into my original construct of patterning, without noticing for the 100th time, I can recognize beyond losing hope and my fear of failing. Everything is a practice. 

Again, everything is connected. I learned all of this, all of these life changing, heart opening, soul affirming lessons, through the body. Only in this way would I have come this far. If Phannie had tried to start with a conversation, speaking to the thinker side of me (and I am sure at some point these conversations did happen, but obviously I shut them out, just further to prove my point here) all of my rules and guidelines of how things are would have kept all of this awareness and knowledge in the dark. I would still be a broken down person struggling to get through the day to day, without anyone on the outside knowing it. 

Today, I find myself in a place of awareness and on the edge of transformation. I can recognize when personality patterns arise in myself and I have the opportunity to make a choice; a choice to give into the story line and perpetuate a hurtful cycle, or the choice to recognize this pattern for what it is (a story line) and act differently, creating the space for freedom and joy. I can also recognize these patterns in others, which helps me relate more deeply and cohesively with those around me, without taking their actions personally. I have begun to integrate the down regulation techniques and choice work in my daily life. I can hear what people are actually saying, not just the words coming out. I have adapted a more regular movement practice that is slowly healing the stress patterns of my physical body. I am creating a more cohesive life, aligned with work that continues to support my soul’s true desires.